THE TABLE TALK (WHAT’S WRONG IN LADIES GOING OUT WITH CONDOMS?)
REALLY, THEY SAY WE LIVE IN A WOMAN’S WORLD BUT THE WOMAN ISN’T ALLOWED MUCH GRACE LIKE THE MAN, SUCH AN IRONY. ON THIS, WE HAVE OUR OWN GREYSYLPH TALK FOR THE LADIES AND BAMZIE AT THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE AS THEY CHAT ON ONE OF THOSE AREAS WHERE MUCH GRACE ISN’T GIVEN TO THE LADIES – THE WILL TO CARRY A CONDOM AROUND.
BAMZIE: Today’s spokesperson for the present generation of Eve, Greysylph. How are you dear?
GREYSYLPH: Thanks, I’m good mister.
BAMZIE: Straight to the issue – they say it’s a woman’s world, allow me pretend that’s true although I don’t see the reality in it. You see the world ladies claim to be theirs has little grace to offer them.
What do you have to say on that, dear?
GREYSYLPH: Well, first off, there’s no ‘allowing’ in this matter.
And yes, it is a woman’s world; it’s just too bad that society defines the chances a woman should have.
BAMZIE: Ha-ha. I love where you’re headed with this argument but let me remind you that nature itself doesn’t agree with you. I’m sure you have heard of this saying in the society “man no dey old”?
That’s nature telling you it’s a man that rules in a lady’s world.
GREYSYLPH: The point is, fine, a man has a lot of chances, you can call it freedom if you like, than a woman, I’m not arguing that in fact, it’s generally accepted and most ladies can live with that.
I laugh at your argument relating it to nature.
BAMZIE: Well, it is about nature, everything about the use of condom is nature. Let me break it down – talk about nature, most people see sex as a part of life. Sex is part of nature, using condom is surely an invention thought after nature and this same nature has put it in the hands of the generation of Adam.
GREYSYLPH: Hmm… And your point exactly is?
BAMZIE: My point is in the world the ladies claim to be theirs, how will the society react to their chance of walking around with condom?
GREYSYLPH: Well, I believe that boils down to the reason you are carrying the condom in the first place, what the condom represents. You see, a lot of people see a condom, and they do not see something that prevents STDs or sex.
They only see the tools of promiscuity, and therein lies our problem – the society’s perception of the object itself.
BAMZIE: I guess it’s the way the society has always seen it, change about the freedom a man gets never changes. You’re insinuating now that a lady be allowed to go about with condoms?
GREYSYLPH: A grown lady carrying a condom around doesn’t mean she’s expecting to get knocked up on her way to the market by some random guy.
Talking about your question, my answer is yes, I am rightly insinuating that, even if it doesn’t represent she’s expecting such anyways.
BAMZIE: Can I ask this: how will the women around react when a condom falls off the purse of the lady on her way to the market?
GREYSYLPH: It only means she’s conscious and comfortable enough with her sex life to the extent of actually going the length to protect herself, when or if she has sex.
To answer your question, of course, naturally, she’ll be considered a slut, even if no one says anything.
BAMZIE: I doubt that, I think our mothers in the market place will have something to say.
GREYSYLPH: Fine, but let’s take the condom falling off scenario away.
GREYSYLPH: A lot of time, when it’s time for the actual act, the guy is the one expected to produce d condom. Is he a magician? And trust boys, condom that they don’t want to use before, when the konji is now catching nigga, and you are here saying “condom”.
BAMZIE: I guess that means the right of a woman to go about with condoms cannot be popular then.
GREYSYLPH: See, it’s not popular and it’s subjective.
BAMZIE: Let me remind you please, my argument is this: the society won’t take it cool with a lady going about with condoms, even when it’s not that bad. Is it our society that’s wrong about such lady being loosed?
GREYSYLPH: If her sex life is active enough, she should. Why aren’t men frowned upon for carrying condoms? That’s the way they make the ladies feel like they’re nothing but the inferior sex. What I’m saying here is a lady should be allowed to take responsibility for protecting herself.
It’s not what is right or wrong, it’s what is accepted, and that is the point.
BAMZIE: I hate to sound like a sexist but let me start with the answer the old ones will give you: “it’s a man’s world”.
GREYSYLPH: I’ll come back to that.
I’m not saying every lady should start walking around with condoms oh. I’m just saying we ladies should also be allowed to have a say on how we choose to protect ourselves and the measures we take to do so.
Besides, no one says much about single ladies who use contraceptives. It boils down to the object itself – the condom, which is pretty ridiculous.
I guess I can continue with what I was saying. So, if I were to tackle it like a young man, I think a lady going about with condoms is wrong, it’s only going to be accepted if she’s going to her dude’s place with the condoms.
And it has to be a complete pack or suspicion will set in. You see my point?
GREYSYLPH: Please, I don’t agree with the first thing you said there.
Do you only carry a condom when you are going to madam’s place, biko? Do you always plan in advance that today oh “I go see le boo, and I must knack”? Please be realistic oh, because youths of these days, this generation ehn, the way konji catches us is scary.
There’s little barrier now sexually.
BAMZIE: Well, carrying a condom to Madam’s place is a precaution. My guess is no dude wants to be a father when he’s still up to many things.
We don’t plan to knack yeah, but we just should have it in our wallet, that’s what I think for the guys.
GREYSYLPH: Since you agree with me on the issue that everybody is either having sex or imagining it, then I don’t see anything in her holding a condom in her bag – it’s simple precaution dear, she doesn’t want to be your baby mama.
I mean, every guy, at least from the ones I’ve asked, they appreciate when a lady makes d moves sometimes, so if u like her moves, why can’t u appreciate that she is also making an effort to protect both of you.
BAMZIE: Even if I agree with you on that, I still think it’s a world where it is the man that knacks the woman, not the woman “knacking” the man.
Therefore, the woman is allowed to have her condom if and only if she leaves it in her room and not go about with it. If she’s coming to visit her boo, trust me the dude will be having a condom in store already.
GREYSYLPH: My dear, that world has gone oh! There’s “woman on top” now. And there are a lot of women who are also very much sexually independent and will not leave their future to be decided on d probability of the boo having a condom in his house.
BAMZIE: Err… But it’s still the man that has the shots.
I know it’s okay for a woman to protect herself if the man is being careless about it since she’s the one that will have 9 months to lose, but I’m saying the world we live in this Naija won’t be seeing that soon because they feel only sex hawkers go about with condoms.
GREYSYLPH: Yeah, I know that too.
I only hate that we assume that about ladies and condoms, when we close our eyes to a lot more immoral things. I almost think it’s more acceptable for a girl to get pregnant than walk around with a condom here in Naija, or for a guy to be infected with gonorrhoea than a lady with a condom. It’s just amazing!
BAMZIE: Nice point.
The categories allowed to carry a condom around for me is general but for the community, you need to be married. Unless you’ll get the “Olorun maje” snap.
Basically, for the ladies, I think the only “person” that should know you have a condom on you is your purse or your bag.
I’ve changed my mind to name any category, because the older society won’t agree.
GREYSYLPH: LOL! My point exactly.
Ideally, only married people are allowed to carry condoms up and down, we are not promoting “ashana” movement biko. But if the shoe fits, abeg the ladies should wear it and “waka”.
And I even forgot, there are female condoms, it will be honourable should the bros also get to buy it for them too.
BAMZIE: LOL! You spoken well for the ladies, ma’am.
So in conclusion, what is your advice for the ladies and the wrong perception the community holds?
GREYSYLPH: I think the ladies should also take measures to protect themselves, not leaving it all for the guys and if it requires carrying a condom around then so be it. And for the society, they should please chill and not just put labels on everything.
BAMZIE: Oh well, I guess that’s just what it is.
Ladies should think about going out with condoms for their own sakes as some guys might just be selfish and be looking for sex without thinking about the repercussions. And to our dear society, please calm down. There’s public shame in unwanted pregnancy than carrying a condom in the bag.
Thanks love for being at that end of the table while it lasted; you were great with the argument.
See you on our next edition.
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