DICTIONARY MEANING: A garden tool with a long handle and a blade, used in breaking up soil and removing weeds;

REALITY MEANING: A person of the female sex, referred to as a tool, used in burning the energy within the body for the sake of pleasure. “Ho: A Prostitute”.

So, someone said a hoe is just a tool. How true is that?

It was the last Saturday of the month, a very breezy morning and clearly not the right weather for a last Saturday in Lagos. I mean how do you switch into environmental mode when you’re feeling so cosy?

Biyi had no choice but to force himself out of bed. The compound he shared with some other flatmates was so bushy; especially his own corner and he had promised he was going to make it look tidy as he wasn’t prepared to face eviction threats. Biyi is a young man in his late twenties and life was going on well for him – working in a semi-large firm and earning an okay salary at the end of the month.

He got up, washed his face to shake the remaining sleep left in his body and brushed his teeth. On getting to the portion he wanted to clear that morning, he realised he had no tool to use in removing the weeds. He went around the flat asking for a hoe since it was easier to use but he didn’t find one for it was so scarce, those that had were not even willing to share with anyone; they all came up with flimsy excuses. After a while, he got one from Seyi, one of the flatmates. Seyi offered him a hoe, not because it was easier to use than a cutlass, but because he had more than one. Even with that, Seyi still appealed to Biyi to help return it after making use of the hoe, and his reason was plain, “cheap hoes are becoming very scare in the market.”

However, after Biyi was done with the hoe, he washed it clean and decided to keep it rather than return it back to Seyi. The tool was so important in the house and he could make use of it every Saturday, he thought. He kept and used it for his compound for up to a month until Seyi came asking for it. Reluctantly, Biyi handed the tool back to Seyi since Seyi was beginning to knock at his door every weekend. Seyi took back the hoe, which was looking overused. The hoe looks overused but still pretty useful, Seyi thought as he returned to his flat with the hoe.

Biyi went and purchased his since the presence of the hoe in the flat couldn’t be underestimated. Months passed and the hoe was damaged, Biyi went ahead to fix it up so he could continue with the use bearing in mind that finding a brand new hoe in the market was like looking for a store that still accepts coins in Nigeria. Alas, the hoe got damaged again, and this time beyond repair that he had to toss it away – the energy burnt in using the hoe every weekend was so down and he had to stay put for a while since the compound was looking tidy. The search for a new hoe began.

I should remind you that someone said a hoe is just a tool, but in reality, the story of the hoe makes me think the hoe is more than a mere tool.


NB. This is clear the air of every negative impression this article might create. It wasn’t written to mock the female gender but a witty writing with no injurious intention.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.


Have You Read Break Time – The Man’s View?



2 thoughts on “HOE IS JUST A TOOL?

  1. Ser Charles Barreston 25/07/2015 / 21:16

    Interesting write up.Indeed hoe isn’t just a tool,its much more dan dat and lots of meaning could b ascribed to it.


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