Happy new day, week and month guys.
Thanks for keeping it real with us – it’s been a year already. God bless u plenty.
Today… Let’s do something a bit of jesting. No offense to our ladies, just for fun and it’s all in pidgen english.
It’s no longer news that the life on campus is fast growing and competition is the order of the day.
You either compete to be on top of your game or you lose out, let me put it differently, the struggle to be on top your game.
The Struggle To Be Endowed: This struggle no be small thing. Say person come this world without. many many endowments for body no be person fault na but as many will say, “help yourself”. The struggle bad gan – these days, you go dey see chics wey dey waka like duck. Dem go force them front come out finish and them back out sef make them no carry last. The thing wey pain me pass now be the way them dey take pad am – say person go wear yansh on top the original yansh, anoda go wear extra boobs on top the one wey follow dem come from their mama. Yawa don gas these days gan as every babe wan get yansh, all babe wan set and all babe wan hot. Naso!
The Struggle To Be Photogenic: Eewo! You wan use dp wey go show say u no too fine abi u wan make your customers reduce? Na bad market be that oh. So wetin we come dey see these days? Check out babe wey go do make up for picture wey she snap after she don do mouth like person wey never chop. This struggle bad gan, u go see babe wey go siddon take her time photo-shop picture make she sef follow stay on top of her game – the thing dey chop boys gan na as babe wey get pimples no go just get am for pishure. Naso!
The Struggle To Have Dimples: Choi! Agbarakwe!!! This struggle is so so alive biko. Wanna take a selfie??? Just pose for camera, do eyes like say dem wan toast you then come carry ur mouth go one side, twitch am wella so that small hole go fit form for your cheek. LOL! E don finish, dimples dom come be that. I even hear say na finger our chics dey use push am inside. God dey oh, u wan create yourself again, una be God? Naso!
The Struggle To Twerk: Ahan nau. Twerking na for some certain class of people – the thick ones. But omo mehn, these days na so so all kind of babe wan twerk oh. E no easy at all. Some Fridays back, one babe been dey dared to twerk for one party like that, she begin dey do like person wey dey dem beat charm for her body. In the struggle to twerk, the things obtainable are cultural dance, shina peters dance, bouncing. Make I lock up here. Naso!
The Struggle To Sing The Lyrics: If you no sabi foreign jamz, just keep it low and download the lyrics as some sharp guys dey do. Wetin the chics dey do na to grumble to the lyrics of the song not sing. After dem don grumble the first seven words for the line, dem go easily produce the last word. Very easy something. Abeg who una still wan impress. Naso!
The Struggle Not To Scratch In Public Places: Hahahaha, abeg scratch if e dey scratch you na. No go dey use thigh rub thigh on to say u no wan scratch for public, na me scratch you? This struggle dey pain person as e dey funny person join. U go see babe wey go dey do like person wey dem blow jazz powder on top. Yansh dey scratch you, you come dey fan yourself, sometimes sef dem go dey scratch the hand – na infrared? Scratch and win biko. Naso!
The Struggle To Sit With The Poppers In Clubs: Eewo! That “I must show beside that popular dude” orientation. That “I must appear for the club magazine” orientation. That “I must hold the champagne bottle when him don pop three-quarter away” orientation. God save our chics!!! The struggle bad gan – you go sight like four chics wey dey try sit with the bobo wey sabi pop, dem fit hold the bobo hand sef dey behave like say dem cast spell for their body. Oh boi no be small thing. Dem go struggle find where the bobo dey if him stand up never return after five minutes. Dem go come wear that “have you seen my baby?” look. Who dash u, u don born? Abegi!!! Naso!
The Struggle To Speak America English: No mind me jare. Actually, na on to this struggle, I feel say make I roll with pidgen today. When I’m not Sean Tizzle, why should I form “fone” after spending three days in Jand, Olorun maje oooh! This struggle don carry our chics away from Naija even when you dey fear Ebola. Dem don sabi twist them tongue now so tey if dem dey on top phone, you go think say na Sandra Bullock dey follow you word. The oyinbo dey sweet for their mouth but that accent no gree leave. U fit blame them? Dem don forget say man no fit be wetin him no fit be. Naso!!!
Still To Come: Faces Ladies Make
I’m so done with this. Just catching cruise here today. Apologies to the ladies sha.
You ladies are wonderful and gallant in our eyes. We love you all, I love you too.
*In Odenibo’s Voice**
“A very special woman is coming here today…”