FABLES FROM PEN WORKSHOP [VOL 2]

BlogBamzie

BlogBamzie

Did You Enjoy “FABLES FROM PEN WORKSHOP, VOLUME 1”?
Here’s The Link If You Haven’t Read It: http://wp.me/p3GKc8-ab

SUNDAY RAMBLINGS
In this century, it’s very easy to be distracted in God’s presence…especially by ladies. You know, their crazy high heels, their flamboyant dresses, heavy make-ups, their mouse walking style (or cat walk as the case may be depending on the animals they choose to resemble) *mischievous smile*. And I think there is something they call the eye shadow which makes some of them look worse than the Lady called Gaga.

To avoid distractions posed by those ladies, make sure you get to your place of worship on time and occupy the front pew. Don’t worry. They won’t arrive church early as these things take a lot of time to fix.

And by the end of the service, you would be fine.
*dodges stones*

#ThePenWorkshop

THE PARTIAL SOCIETY
If a man has a huge pot belly, people would say that it is as a result of being rich (girls with flat bellies would want him as ‘Sugar Daddy’ sef) but if a lady’s stomach becomes bigger – without being pregnant – she would be seen as a lady who can’t take care of herself. In the case of adultery, the woman is seen as that devil who tempted the ‘saintly’ man. But is it not by consent? It is normal for a man to be richer than his wife but a scenario where the wife is richer than the husband, she would be termed a witch who has ‘used the head of her husband and cooked vegetables for him’ (you know what I mean).

When a man marries another wife and brings her into the home, he expects the current wife to accommodate the new wife and both of them should live as ‘one’, but if the woman does the opposite…she can’t even do it sef. An extra-marital affair for men is like the norm but a married woman or a lady that tries to have a fling is seen as a prostitute.

And the examples go on and on…. If we really want to practice gender equality in its true sense, shouldn’t the female folks be free to do what the male folks are doing?
#ThePenWorkshop

HARD LIFE
I’ve faced enough situations that have threatened my spirit, soul and body; days of soaking gaari without groundnut nor sugar, days of labouring under the scorching sun…but I choose to be strong because if I’m not, then I’m less a man.
Sometimes, I wonder the difference between the life I live and hell because to me, there’s no difference (okay, I haven’t been there so I can’t say). I’ve had to look for job and even endure insults from children not up to the last born of our family. But in spite of the insults, I choose not to give up because if I do, what story will I share with my children?

Since everything went AWOL that even to eat once a day is a herculian task, a lot of counsels have been coming from people pitying my predicament. The height of which was to use my eleven months old big headed last child “Saka” for rituals explaining that the bigger the head is, the bigger the money. I was tempted to (don’t blame me o) but I chose to ignore devlish counsels, pick up myself and fight my way to the top again. Amidst all the uncertainties surrounding me, I choose to hope because if I dont, then life is not worth living.

“Gba gba gba,” I heard at around 6:30am. “You must pay my money today. Shameless fool. #200 from the past 6 months. Today na today”, garri woman continued screaming. “God”, I muttered silently, “I must pass today’s interview.” Before I knew it, my shoe already passed the backyard and jumped through the fence. That’s what I do everyday when people come to collect the money I owe them. Well, today’s another day, time to open creditors’ attendance at my house.
#ThePenWorkshop

ATTITUDE: THE DEVIL WITHIN
“Mr. Mukaila, hand me the keys,” said the boss. “You are fired, please, get out of my office”.

Tears filled Mukaila’s eyes as he begged the boss. “Oga please, I won’t do it again”.

“What is wrong with my head? My mother’s mother must definitely be on top my matter”, these were the thoughts running through his mind as he embarked on a slow journey home.

The previous day, Mukaila had just gotten a job as a school bus driver where he would earn 7,000 naira per month. When Mr. Mukaila announced to his four wives and eighteen kids that he has finally gotten a job, there was a wild jubilation in their tiny house. After so many years of living off his parents to feed his family, he was relieved to know that his misery would soon be over. He brought the bus home to make his work easier. Through the night, he celebrated his job appointment with his friends smoking and drinking…

When he woke up in the morning, the sun was far up in the sky. He asked his senior wife what time it was.

“It is 11 o’clock baale mi”.
“Yeepa!” he said to himself in his Ijesha accent. “And none of you could wake me up?! I am to resume by 6:30 in the morning…”
#ThePenWorkshop

FABLES FROM PEN WORKSHOP ARE LITTLE COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES SELECTED FROM THE WRITER’S NUMEROUS WORKS.

SIMILOLUWA MAKINDE IS A WRITER AND A LAW STUDENT.

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