n. somebody of the feminine sex who is being used for a man’s selfish interest for some period of time.
v. to be called up and sexually used and dumped at random times.

Link to Part 1: http://wp.me/p3GKc8-83
Link to Part 2: http://wp.me/p3GKc8-88

“How about you come over to my place today…I’m bored. And I miss you!” I smiled as I listened to Nonso from the other end of the line. I could almost hear the shy hesitation in his voice.

I smiled again.

“Oh, really? And what am I going to do at your place when I’m there?” I replied playfully, rolling on my back dragging a poor pillow with me.

It was not the first time he was asking me that question and lets just say it was not also the first time I was playing along.
We had been “dating” for some months now, about six months precisely and it had been…well, great!

I wasn’t wrong about him. Nonso was great in all ramifications. I ignored the fact that we rarely went out together or hung out with his friends, at least he always made up for that by showering me with gifts, writing sweet nonsenses in both texts and on paper and reminding me that he wanted me for only himself. I like my men a bit possessive. He was shy, reserved ,so I understood his reluctance to meet too many of my friends – I understood him completely. That’s how love makes somebody understand stupid things sha. Nonso was seldom in town during the weekends due to work trips (auditing different branches of his company and all) so, whenever he was around we made the best use of it. I usually ended up in bed with him all weekend. It was heaven.

Back to the present, I felt his mischievous little smile from the other end of the line, “Well, then I guess we’ll have to find something for you to do”, he replied softly “how does doing me sound?”

I laughed.

“But you are such a pig though”

“I know. You love me like that”

I smiled. Yep, I did. I’d love him even if he was a maggot too, a big fat slimy one.

“Ermm… Ok, let’s see how my day goes, but I’m not promising you anything, Nonso”

I felt that smile again. We both knew I would be at his place in the next 3 hours max.

I sighed. This guy is sitting and watching DStv on my mumu button!
“Okay, I’ll be expecting you. Give me a call when you are on your way.”

“Yes,Dad”, I snorted.

Mind you, the distance from my place to his place was far. Like faaaaarrr. It was a long distance relationship – from omole to ikorodu. But did I mind? M ba!

Like an idiot in heat, everytime he called and couldn’t pick me up, I’d literally travel to his place. Sometimes I even cooked along, hoping for a double attack in case the way to a man’s heart was really the stomach and not some lower geographical area on his body.

I opened my wardrobe and scanned at the over three dozen dresses, shirts, skirts, pants and whatever else was hidden in there and there was totally nothing impressive there. I brought out a pink dress, my best casual dress so far but then I couldn’t wear it because he had already seen me in that before and I didn’t want the guy to be thinking that was the best I could show up in.

We are talking double attack here and I needed some sexiness in my life. I brought a denim trouser out, raised it up with both hands and stared at it for a while, it was still my size, thank God but he had bought the jean for me at Mr. Price on one of the many times he took me out for shopping and I didn’t want the guy to be thinking I needed to shop for clothes again too. Frustrated, I brought out everything there was in both sides of the wardrobe and poured them all on the floor.

“What to wear? What to wear?!”, I thought as I stared disgustedly at the clothes on the floor.

Eventually, I settled on a loosely fitted boubou made of a very thin material, just casual enough for the occasion and light enough against my skin to tease – double attack!


I smiled dreamily like the cat that got the cherry.

Haha! I got the cherry alright even more than that sef, I thought as I looked beside me. Nonso was like a dark Adonis lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. I ran my fingers along his jaw and smiled as he sleepily tried to bat my hand away. I wanted us like this, always. Forever!
I trailed my palm along his chest, lightly splattered with hair, grinning mischievously as I went lower tweaking his navel. His hand sprang out of nowhere gripping my wrist.

“Babe, I need to rest. Reboot”

I snorted, causing him to growl playfully,

“I swear, I’ll wipe that cheeky grin from your face by the time I’m done with you…”,
I laughed, knowing he meant it.

His phone rang. I watched him stare at the screen and frown.

Still smiling, I nudged him. “Pick your call, mister or better still, just busy it.” I tried snuggling against him, planting tiny kisses on his shoulders but he sat up answering the call.

“Hello…” (pause)

“Yeah, I’m home. What’s wrong?” (long pause)

“Oh!” (short pause)

“Why? What kind of surprise is that?” (long pause)

“No, No, I’m happy. I’m elated. I can’t wait to see you both.” (pause) *clears throat*.

“Oho! Ok, me too.” clears throat again.

” I said it back nau. Ok, I love you too”.

I was still smiling like an idiot when he turned to face me, his face hard as granite.
I laughed mockingly, “wow, your folks are coming over, right? I can’t wait to meet them… Jeez! They are so cool.”

I started putting the bed together, still talking, “how many parents still pay their kids surprise visits these days and still force them to say ‘I love you’ back”, I snickered, expecting a retort from him.

Silence – there was no reply!

He was still seated on the bed, that body gloriously half naked and he was staring at me like I had grown two heads.

“Rita, pack your stuffs and get out of my house.”

I frowned in confusion.

“You don’t want me to meet your parents? I don’t get you, Nonso. You say you love me yet you hide us away from the world”, I started picking pieces of my dressing from around the living room (we didn’t make it to the room earlier).

I was pissed as hell. What did he take me for?

“There is no us, Rita. There was never us”, he said firmly..

Now, I’m pissed. Totally.

“What the hell, Nonso! You are breaking up with me because of your parents?”, I yelled, “They haven’t even met me yet and what do you mean there was never us? What have we been doing these past six months, ehn? Tell me”, I threw my purse at him angrily.

“You said you loved me, now your parents are coming and everything flies out of the window. What kind of half corked bastard are you?!”

It was like I never even spoke. That soft voice I loved so much now spoke words that were like a death knell.

“You see, Rita. It’s my fiancée with our 6 years old daughter that’s  paying me a surprise visit from the UK. We are getting married next year,and there’s nothing going to change that. Not even you.”

I was shocked!

“And if you are going to ask me if you meant anything to me, yes you did. You made the last six months of my life quite interesting and it was fun while it lasted. Thanks!”

“Now, I need you to get out of my house and my life. Forget you ever knew me. Bye, Rita.”

He got up and walked into the bathroom while I stood, rooted to the spot. The ugly snicker on his handsome face would have made it funny if it wasn’t so tragic. I could have cried or made a scene but, naah, I calmly packed my stuff and journeyed my way back to Omole.

My Fantasy romance was over. I had been used and discarded and for the first time, I felt what it was like to be a booty call, aka sarewagba!!


So, back to my resolutions, it seemed like a wise thing to include. And I hope to God, I don’t ever enter one chance again. Ever!
This twitter handle belongs to the writer of this piece (part 1-3).

Read Also: (A Thought On The Use Of Condoms) http://wp.me/p3GKc8-8h.

Sare Wagba

Sare Wagba

…writing is beyond mere ideas, proudly instincts!


One thought on “I REFUSE TO BE SARE WAGBA…! (PART 3)

  1. Ghostreader(rtd) 23/04/2014 / 05:35

    D guy is MEAN,he cldnt even break up codedly!nice write up


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