“This life is hard sha“, I thought sadly to myself as I got down at my bus stop, fighting the urge to scramble back into the bus and ask the hot oga for his number since he has refused to collect mine.
“But why must the guy be the one to make the first move, ehn”, I wondered for the umpteenth time, while cursing under breath for not having the liver to be the bigger person, apparently, my Lagos babe liver was not hard enough.
But this life is hard o.
Ok,let me gist you all what went down in that Oshodi Isale bus.
So, we had exchanged like two sentences after the purse episode, and that was that. Shikena!
Can you even believe that?
“Bros, no even try at all, fa!”
“Anyways, nothing spoil, I consoled myself, there are still plenty fishes in the water.
Plenty fine fishes!
I looked up from my work cubicle to see Victor grinning suggestively at me.
Victor is my office colleague and bestie.
I shook my head in mock pity. With a nagging wife and four kids below 8 years old waiting for him at home, it was no wonder he chased after everything and anything in skirt whenever he could.
“Guy, abeg, na Monday morning o,don’t be beautifying me like that. I don’t want madam’s wahala this week.”
His wife, Oge (AKA) MADam (emphasis on the mad), was well known in and out of the office for the notorious stalking of her husband and her husband’s strong dislike and fear of her wasn’t exactly a secret.
A cloud crossed his face at the mention of his wife, then he shrugged, smiling. “Leave that issue alone jare. I wanted to ask if you’d be going for that fund raising thing on Friday.”
The fund raising ‘thing’ was actually some sort of dinner the company was hosting for some cause.
“Oh That!”, I sighed, “I’m not sure o. You nko?”.
He laughed bitterly, “Me, go ke?. I can’t go with that woman o, and going alone or with another person will land me into another wahala with her”, he paused shortly, “except, you know”, he winked at me.
I sighed, knowing where this was going. Did I mention that madam uses me to keep tab on her husband? She has this idea that both of us are in a league against all men-folk, including her husband.
“Mba, you people should leave me out of this one o. I’m not going to be husband-sitting for your wife everytime, while the husband I’m supposedly sitting”, I look at him pointedly and continued, “gets busy chasing innocent women up and down”.
Victor sidled to my side and started making faces.
“Please na, help an innocent married man biko. I will do anything”
“Victor, please leave me alone,I have work to do”, I paused.
“Besides, do you have any idea how many times madam calls me to ask what it is you are doing? – With WHO? WHY? Whenever she knows I’m with you. Twenty times per hour,Vic and its not funny.”
He grew quiet and I figured I’d won this argument.
“But, you know you could meet your one true love”, He said slyly and rolled away.
The ‘daggered’ look I gave him was wasted on his slimy back.
On second thought, going to that dinner would increase my chances of meeting successful, sensible guys, hopefully.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“You know if you weren’t my G, I’d be making mad moves on those curves”, I gritted my teeth and shot Vic a dirty look.
We were at the entrance of the hall. Him, dressed like a respectable Sauvé executive. Sauvé executive he was. Responsible, he wasn’t. And me, wondering if my dress wasn’t too short or too tight – and if it bared cleavage?
“And if I wasn’t expecting your wife’s call within the next five minutes, my Nigga, you’d have been long dead and buried. So,just shut up” I muttered as I tugged at my short gown and sucked my belly in more. Suck belee make shirt fine abeg and then proceeded to drag him along to a couple of our other colleagues, trying to do a bit of circulating before the main thing started.
I was engrossed in a talk with some people,when my phone rang.
I cursed, looking up for Vic. No Victor! The sly! I looked at my phone again, wondering why on earth I had agreed to come for this dinner.
One true love, kor, I hissed.
“Fancy seeing you here.”
I jerked my head to the voice and my brain froze for four good seconds before rebooting. Heeellloooo, true love!
The ‘hot bros’ from the bus was even finer than I had imagined and taller, all decked to the bones.
All the thoughts of Vic and madam quickly evaporated but still, I had to rearrange.
I frowned slightly, feigning to place the face.
DON’T ACT TOO EAGER.
“Errm”, I smiled in feigned confusion, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”
Bros smiles more, I’m sure its not often that people forget his face. His beautiful face, I almost shiver inside. There has to be a rule against being this fine, biko!
“We met in a bus last week, the guy on your purse. Remember?”,
I arranged my face into mock realization, then surprised ,and finally crowned it all with a smile.
Forget Lupita! I should get an Oscar, wahali!
“Ooh”, I smiled, and he smiled a little more, “It is you of course, its you. How could I have forgotten. Hi,you.”
We shook hands and he laughed almost shyly.
“Yes, it’s me. Sorry about the other episode, I was so beat.”
“But bros, u can’t be too tired not to collect a sister’s number, nawah oh”, I thought aloud.
“I understand, believe me and I can imagine”, with that we started talking.
His name was Nonso, and I noticed he was kind of reserved and a bit shy and cute.
I quickly switched off my phone and started thinking about Nonso Jnr, cute like his father and his cute siblings.
Chartered accountant at an oil firm. Bless God, I always knew I wouldn’t marry poor.
That evening I developed new habits – reading novels,and jamming classical music. We’ll conveniently ignore the fact that I’m tone deaf and I’ve never completed a storybook before –
I was on cloud nine and I could swear that the chemistry wasn’t just in my head.
As the night was ending, we exchanged contacts!
I could have died from a burst artery or something from the way my heart was pumping blood into my head. Damn!
But you know, I had to represent. I played it cool all through.
In my mind,I was forming hard babe.
It wasn’t long before Nonso and I began to hang out…!
to be continued…
…writing is beyond mere ideas, proudly instincts!