I remember what a female friend that has happily friend-zoned me said some months back: “when a guy likes a girl, he walks up to her and tells her right away but when a girl likes a guy, she sits back silently waiting for the Holy Spirit to tell him.”

Uhmm! After that day, I’ve been thinking about this – why can’t the ladies just walk up to us, why is it so hard and near impossible for a girl to tell a guy how she feels? Instead, what she offers is the silent stare. It is one thing to stare at a boy and allow him read the meanings in your eyes, while it is another thing entirely to stare silently, leaving the situation a bit clueless, leaving it for the dude to try and decode.

I’m a dude so I can’t really say what it means to stare silently so I threw the situation to some lovely ladies and you know, so many funny answers. However funny, yet real.

  • Tosin Salau
  • I feel it is a non verbal communication we girls use to get the attention of the guy. It is supposed to be easy for the dude to decode as it is our passive way of saying hi and it is more like “hey you, just come over here already and make the first move”.

  • Tiwa Toke
  • Ah, Bamzie…I’ve not been in that kind of situation before but from what I’ve heard I think it is a stare that doesn’t make a lady’s intention clear but still the lady wants the dude to get the message, maybe by logic.

  • Itunu Oyediran
  • Well….ermm, I don’t know how to explain this well..lol

  • Altine
  • A silent stare is actually not silent if you can read the girl’s eyes. It simply means she likes you and it is better if the guy gets the message because the stare is the best the lady can offer.

  • Debby Delsy
  • Oh well, a silent stare is associated with crush and not love. The lady’s best move to tell the guy she wants to hear him say something she really longs to hear. That’s our society, we ladies cannot dare say how we feel, you know what might happen if we dare.

  • Tracy Aghedo
  • Girls stare at a guy for many reasons but when it is that silent stare then the only reason is because she likes him and she can like him for many reasons, most times sexual. I remember I once stared silently at a guy for close to a year without giving out any emotions, yet he knew I liked him. Anyways, when a girls stares more than a while, it is pretty obvious she likes him.

  • Ebun
  • Well, a lady especially a beautiful one is most of the time aware of her allure as a woman. Sometimes too aware that she believes that no man is impervious to her charms. So when a lady is being coquettish, she expects the guy to stare back then when there is a silent acknowledgment of attraction between them, the guy approaches her. However if the guy is clueless, the lady becomes quiet and won’t know how to act because of her ‘Ego’. This resorts to a temporary bout of low self esteem or a blatant action from the lady. In my experience, the guy would get to know and play along, however if the guy is uninterested, he just ignores. It’s the same for first dates. Why do u think its mostly only stares and shy smiles?

    Well, all said and done.
    This is one issue that cannot be sorted out in a day. Maybe the guys should start learning to decode that “silent stare”. It would make our love stories less complicated…lol!


    …writing is beyond mere ideas, proudly instincts!


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