I read in the Bible sometime ago that Jesus is coming back the second time, and nobody knows when this second time shall be. But, there are some girls that the Lord might not forgive when He comes…
Tunde stretched on the bed for the third time, this time he managed to raise his left wrist up to the level where his eyes could see them. He saw the minute and the hour hand then he opened his eyes fully when it dawned to him that the time was exactly three o’ clock. He sprung up and yawned loudly. He glanced at his wristwatch again and thought to himself how long he had fallen asleep. It was as if the sleep wanted to take over the better of the day. He managed to drag himself out of the room to the corridor to wash his face and get the sleep off him finally.
He got back into the room after washing his face, and then he stretched for a last time. Tunde took the fancy of looking round the room, the new arrangement – how everywhere was perfectly clean with the rug perfectly swept and the beautiful scent that gave way gently from the air freshener box. The smile on his face showed how great he was feeling this cool afternoon. He had taken his time earlier in the morning to sweep and dust everywhere; folded his clothes neatly and hung the iron ones. It was the tiredness he felt afterwards that caused him the long sleep… ko easy mehn!
Tunde was preparing for the coming of Sonia. Sonia is one hot and classy babe on campus and not every boy on campus could get her to bed just like that but for Tunde he cared less, just like his popular quote: “aponle ni pornstar, olosho l’ashewo nje”. It had taken more than enough spending and time before she finally agreed to come that evening to do nothing but the something which meant everything to Tunde on this day. He had washed his car so that they could both go out in the evening after their match.
He was going to play a match, he thought to himself, “Nothing spoil sha if I get to watch the first half with a girl instead of being with my guys”. He knew time won’t allow him to watch Arsenal’s game with his friends. He had a plan in his heart already on how hard he was going to bang her and get her tipsy before letting her leave the room. He brought out some lovely brands of French wine and arranged them in the fridge, including some little chops and liquor.
He re-checked the text message and reassured himself with the time of the coming – 6PM. He looked at his watch, it was exactly 5.30PM so he grabbed a bottle of Kasaprenko, “Make alomo don dey body first, make him soak my blood wella”, he thought to himself “Sonia ma gba”. After gulping down half of the big bottle, he went to have his bath and came back into the room with alomo in the system to chill for the coming!
At exactly 6.09PM, his phone beeped and he opened his inbox to read the message – suddenly, baba’s jaw dropped! Tunde was no longer smiling; with alomo in the system konji was setting in kampe. “After all the prep”, he thought to himself, “this Sonia must be a motherfucker sha”. Angrily, he dropped his phone on his bed – Sonia had gone to Lagos around noon to run some stuffs and won’t be back till Monday.
But, there are some girls that the Lord might not forgive when He comes…those that want the boys to wait endlessly for their coming just like we keep waiting for the Lord’s coming – they keep acting like Jesus and end up posting ‘konjified’ boys *straight face*. Why should God forgive them? It is not funny ooo…
Written by: @baron_bamzie
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