I appreciate your visits thus so far, bless. And to my King’s College brothers, I say happy celebration. Floreat!
Wetin I get to yarn today is not new and I’ve been trying to keep mute on this matter but some days back a friend provoked me…! Shola, my long time friend checked on me in my small crib sometime last week and mehn, bro was looking on point; I don’t want to talk much about his looks so I don’t find myself being addressed as gay, e ma koba mi.
Shola was my primary school padi and we ran things together back then – the days of eggroll, Limca, pure water, blah blah. We sat close to each other and so we marked ourselves high whenever we were told to swap our home works with our partners – sharp guy thing *winks*. After primary school, padi gained admission into one of those federal schools in the West and the last time I laid my eyes on him was like five years ago, that was when I learnt he was going to the United States for his tertiary education.
“Safe journey bro” I bid him, “I go miss you gan”
Now, he was back and he came over to check his old friend, that was so nice of him sha. We had barely talked for two minutes and suddenly I was getting tired. Baba just dey run mouth like say him don use more than thirty years there, oh boi…shuo?! Odikwa serious ooo – baba no even wan take am easy, “hey buddy…” those were his slowest words, and immediately after those, the rest followed in speed and as a sharp guy 😀 :D, I played along, listened to the key words in his sentence and gave him the answer in real good speed too – shebi him think say na only am sabi speak oyinbo, siddon there!
This stuff is really not fair, in short it is total rubbish – I don vex – why should you form English, it is not like you were given birth to in the States. It gets pretty worse in some situations; a fellow shared his story with me – he was chilling with some of his friends who had just “arrived”, shortly after they got onto the streets. After a while, one of the friends started complaining about the heat “the weather here is just unbearable”. He said that same dude rejected one of these new names in table water and asked for Eva, his reasons being that those ones could kill, this is a boy that ‘shacked’ pure water back then ooo. He even pointed out that another couldn’t speak Yoruba very well again…ahan, chill, maka gini the forming nau – in just two years??
The oyinbo is not necessary at all bikoh – then someone should help tell our celebs to speak their oyinbo in the Nigerian way when addressing us, dem Skales, dem Banky W, dem D Prince, awon ti Ikpeba – that baba go just dey gbagaun dey go – God dey, na why me go dey feel the likes of Olamide, 2 Baba, if the oyinbo no go chook Yoruba, chook pidgin – daz all!. All this forming is pure bullshit nau – I know it is just effizy and no one cares, anytime my cousin that was given birth to in the states calls me, I hear him clearly and the dude is even learning yoruba from me and he is spitting small small, that’s being real you know – so you see why I won’t je di dodo of these forming niccurs. I don’t even see any good reason behind the dead forming sef, awon oniro.
I think it is time they come to our level – the question is ‘do we need to form at all?’ I stand on the side that screams “no” as the answer but if you think the answer is ‘yes’, then please tell them to form with brain…us sef go jand jare!
Proudly Naija and I dey rep anytime any day!