UI KINGDOM: THE STORY OF THE SUB-URBS!

There once existed a kingdom in the early twenties, located in the suburbs of Western Africa. In this kingdom, animals have come and gone, it is obviously no one’s home so if you find yourself in this kingdom, try your best to live a good life so that you will be well spoken of. If I begin to tell you about all the brouhaha that goes on in this jungle, you will marvel but as time would permit, just five animals would do. These animals are: Kandle the Mouse, Borr the Gorilla, Henniy the Raccoon, Samba the Lion and Joen the Dragonfly. In this large kingdom, it is hard to tell if these animals ever met themselves but I think they should have seen or heard of themselves at one time or the other.

KANDLE THE MOUSE: A very secretive and coded female animal. Initially, she was one of the ugliest when she was here in the jungle but thanks to the white man that paid the jungle a visit. The white man signed a life contract to produce cosmetics for the animals in the jungle so that they can be at least a glint of hope for them. They mustn’t die single for crying out loud. Very ambitious mouse, the creator gave her a bright skin and a very heavy lip with which she got jobs that gave her identity. Her creator is quite rich as she dined with the kings. She became popular in the jungle after a horse asked her out, the horse opened her eyes to the other side of the suburb and soon she was a mouse of her own. She had a mouse-trap; I think two which were very reliable aids of transportation round the jungle. She had many mice around her and they were quite close, they went to the market square and feasted together. But one day, her flirty ways landed her into trouble as she felt it was time to sleep with the lover of one of her fellow mouse but thanks to the disciplined horse she wanted to flirt with-bad horse of life, he exposed her and all her moves. That was the end of her coded moves; she became very quiet in the jungle suburbs. She was tagged “loser” by many and when I heard the story, I couldn’t but help pitying her. The last thing I heard about this proud, flirty and ugly mouse is that she has gone to another jungle in search of marriage, now, she’s engaged!

BORR THE GORILLA: A very brutal survivor, quite ugly and big-headed. It was argued by other animals of the land that he was a Kleptomaniac, maybe or maybe not but one sure thing is that he was a sex-maniac. I don’t even know why the creator made him a gorilla, he best fits a grand horse – his dick was the bomb, quite notorious and a bully. In the jungle, he was feared by all the female animals as he forced them into having sex with him, brutal sex. Borr had no life of his own, always struggling to keep fit in the suburb, like he knew he wouldn’t last in here. Borr had this machine that produced fresh lies daily in him and oh boy, I was not pleased with him. People often pitied him and expressed their fears that the creator must have cursedhim to be pilfering. On countless occasions, he had received punishments from snakes, horses, dogs, lions, tigers, to name a few. Poor boy! He struggled to remain in the jungle for good but he was booted outafter he was reported to the king for locking up some female animals for 48 hours. Quite a popular story, he knew he was fried and after the council of elders finished their meetings, he was sent on a life exile out of the suburb.

HENNIY THE RACCOON: A very shy and determined animal. When I say determined, what I mean is in this phrase “she wanted to be a hoe and now she’s a hoe”. This wacked animal never believed in herself, always wanting to be what she couldn’t be. She was a silent animal in the jungle until one night she gave in to one horse in the suburb and pronto, life began for her. She has had an affair with quite a number of horses – the horse that has green hooves, the horse that lives in the quiet part of the jungle, the loud horses, the young horses, to mention a few. She has spent only two years in the suburb and she has made the headlines quite a number of times. One interesting headline is the story that she agreed to have an affair with a horse so that she could use the horse to travel out of the suburb without paying a dime. I think I saw her dressed the other time-sexy raccoon! One thing this raccoon is known for is rolling with senior animals all because she wants to be seen. Anyways, the news about her now is that she is not going to get a bride price when the time comes for a horse to take her away.

SAMBA THE LION: A bold animal. A very handsome animal and sought after by the female animals. He is quite the prince of the jungle. I heard the female animals are quite scared of him because he breaks heart and devours any insecure dog. Life it is. I like this lion; he is quite funny and belongs to the proper suburb. However, there are few things the animals in the jungle do not know that we the animals in the suburb know very well. There was a time Samba the lion was in love and he made many sacrifices, like going down to the female kingdom to roar so that his pretty lioness could come out to keep his company. Wicked lioness, she kept on toying with the heart of the lion but the determined lion who knew what he wanted kept on showing up, Samba was once in love. There was a time Samba gave his claws to his love and walked clawless back to his kingdom. There were also times when Samba went to the shrine in the suburb to worship the creator. What a transformation for this lion. So while we are still here in the suburb, learn to stop thinking this lion never had times when he was absolutely nobody.

JOEN THE FOX: A very young, wild and free animal. This tiny pretender has obviously come to stay. It is her first year in the suburb and she’s already a popular animal. A fellow horse once argued that though she is she quite young in age, her body is so old as a result of it being over-used, wear and tear wahala I guess. This fox has encountered quite a number of problems even though she is young. A fellow animal told me that she allows every other animal to climb over her and perhaps that’s the reason for her wide bum. That reminds me of the story of the broken locker while she was being climbed on. The male animals in the suburbs are patiently waiting to climb on her too. As a friendly animal, I only hope she doesn’t get booted out of this jungle.

THE PIECE YOU JUST READ IS A FACTION (BASED ON REAL ACCOUNTS AND A BIT OF THE WRITER’S IMAGINATION). NO MALICIOUS INTENT.

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9 thoughts on “UI KINGDOM: THE STORY OF THE SUB-URBS!

  1. Mz Boucy 08/07/2013 / 19:22

    The Characters… 😡

  2. Madamme 08/07/2013 / 19:25

    I think this is all about subs

  3. cloud9 10/07/2013 / 22:03

    Loooolz “Borr” d kutite n “samba” katangite. .. Nice piece yo! Subs of life

    • 'Bamiyo 18/08/2013 / 15:55

      Sounds lyk u v caught the subs

  4. sir kay 12/09/2013 / 11:14

    omo buruku see subs…..fox oro

    • 'Bamiyo 12/09/2013 / 17:17

      Lool…Oga Gen Sec na story me write oo… *picks race*

  5. Bea_Pearll 26/07/2015 / 11:26

    Quite a piece…I think I’m familiar with some of these occurences in the ivory tower. It’s quite sad but a good job well done as per the storywriting. Well done.

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